I know it’s me. I must like the attention. And the drama but lately I’ve been having a lot of these side boys. Tonight was no different. Unfortunately for them my brain and my heart are else where but I continue to think that perhaps this will be different and something will change me.
Tyler came over tonight. I wasn’t expecting him until tomorrow. I actually wrote in my planner that he would be over tomorrow but he said that tonight actually worked better for him to which I had no excuse cause I had already admitted to being home doing nothing. Damn text messaging.
So I’m mini freaking out as he’s on the way over. It’s not even a long ride. He called 3 times before I answered because I was talking to Amy about the situation.
Back story: Tyler is a friend of Bill. Well sorta in a round about way I guess. Bill lived in a dorm with Jake, Sweden, Brian and other boys that I became friends with by association with Bill. (There are many many more stories here but maybe we’ll get into them later…) Anyhow, Tyler either lived on that floor or was somehow friends with them because at some point he came into the mix. Tyler is tall, loves basketball and sports, kinda awkward but always seems to do ok with the ladies. He’s not overwhelmingly attractive but I think the fact that he’s tall and everyone else isn’t so much gets him some where. His pros and cons are about even I guess. There’s more (there’s always more) but I don’t feel much like getting in to it.
Tyler and I have hung out a few times. This started on Super Bowl Sunday for some unknown reason. Maybe I was upset over Arizona losing, maybe I was slightly high and drunk because of the shenanigans that took place during the game, maybe I was just bored. Needless to say there was some kissing which I probably maybe may not have allowed otherwise. (I also later realized I have made out drunkenly with a number of these boys over time—stupid Emily--- it’s been a while but this isn’t looking good) But on the other side he’s a great guy and I really enjoy hanging out with him so the story doesn’t end there.
Post SB there was texting. Then there was bowling (another stupid Emily moment) on Yano’s birthday with Yano and the gang (which is dumb because Yano and I have gone out on a number of dates that have no resulted in any sort of kissing what so ever. No chemistry. He told me once he liked me cause I could carry on a conversation… not good). That resulted in us deciding we should watch a movie together (wall e) which happened but thankfully I was sick so this did not result in any further kissing. Another smooth move on the Emily front was when we went out the other weekend and I decided to have my brother tag along so there was no physical connection and Emily was very sober all night. (smart)
Tonight, not so smart. He came over to watch a chick flick ( I thought that would scare him away enough). Sex and the City. Probably not so good.. should have gone with Roman Holiday. No real adventure there. The movie was over before he tried to kiss me. I dodged it all through out the movie and was therefore tired of the dodge by this point.
It’s not so much that he’s a bad kisser. I think in having no relationship lasting over 2 months it must make it hard to learn the things people should know by this point. His lips were hard. He didn’t know what to do or when to do it. There are things about a girl that I guess are acquired knowledge that by this point should be learned that haven’t been. I don’t know where he’s been or with who I just know I do not want to be the poor soul that has to get this boy out from under his rock. Selfish I know but when you could have something better, why teach?
Needless to say it was an evening to forget and I’m writing it all down so hopefully I can. Why would I do this when there’s a perfect maybe boyfriend potential in the making? I’m not sure. I’m never sure. I guess I have to make all the possible mistakes before I can commit again. And I say this all having no idea if it’s even possibility to be with this other man. Gosh. This is where I get myself into trouble.
No comments:
Post a Comment